Don't Dissolve Your Marriage, Save It!

1/30/18

It is important to note that some relationships cannot and should not be continued. In relationships where there is abusive behavior or any sort of physical violence, it is usually wise to get oneself and any children involved out of such a situation as quickly as is possible.

When looking at newlyweds, it can be hard to consider the fact that divorce has become a commonplace thing, but it has. In the overwhelming number of cases, no one wants their marriage to fail, but so many invariably do. It begs the question of whether it's possible to save a marriage that seems bound for divorce. It's a question that has as many answers are there are marriages, and an impossible number of variables to consider. One question, glaring yet often overlooked, can often determine whether or not the course of a relationship can be righted. Sometimes, the key question to salvaging a marriage could be:

Is it me?

No one wants to think that they're the problem, and it can be difficult to examine one's own behavior and admit that destructive patterns may exist, and are standing in the way of their having a healthy relationship. If one really wants to save their relationship, it may be that such self-examination is in order. Very often, helping your marriage means helping yourself. Asking the right questions can be crucial to usable introspection and identification of unhealthy emotional habits. Your brain is wired to overlook your own faults as a defense mechanism, sometimes it can cause you to dig in your heels when what you should be doing is apologizing, and changing destructive behavior.

Is your ego causing stubbornness, defensiveness, over-reaction, or anger? Are you dealing with your emotions in an unhealthy way, perhaps repeating habits learned early on, or due to never having known any other way to express them? Have you become so fixated on your partner's faults that you've begun to overlook their qualities? Are you expecting too much and giving too little? Maybe you've just stopped trying?

Being honest in a relationship doesn't just mean not straying and being open with your partner about who you are, sometimes it's being honest with yourself. Healing always starts from the inside.

Watch this space for more useful information on finding ways to make love last and save your relationship.

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